Never Again
by PegasusAcc
Summary: He witnessed her body tense, her eyes harden, and her lips draw together in a straight line. Her eyes glistened with tears, but she held each one of them back, refusing to let any of them roll down her pink cheeks.


Authors Note: Hey, 'sup ya'll? I just wanted to let ya know that this is my first attempt at a direct hook-up type fic. And my first completed fic having Heero as the main character. If you see any part of the story that is in **, it means that it's a flash-back/dream sequence, and it's not happening at that exact time. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, any of its components, or any of the other Gundam material. I simply write for the enjoyments of myself and others, so please don't sue. 

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NEVER AGAIN 

Heero closed his eyes, letting the numbness wash over him. How could he have been so stupid? How could she ever forgive him, after he had let her down so miserably? Pulling the blankets around his ears, he beckoned for sleep, though his heart burned with rage as he saw her face flash through his tired mind once more. Her eyes had been so hopeful, waiting for those three words that would make her heart race. And then, her fragile body as it fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. His eyes stung, but he would not let the tears escape. He lay there, for hours, staring into the darkness, waiting to be carried away to sleep, where he would be at least temporarily relieved of his pain. 

But his relief never came. Finally, he pried himself out of the covers and throwing on a pair of jeans over his boxers and a blue button collared shirt, he headed over to the hospital for the second time that night. 

The sun was barely coming over the horizon as he entered the large steel gates to the compound. The pinks, purples, yellows and oranges highlighted the sky in a vibrant display of colors. The morning was beginning to warm, but still Heero Yuy's heart remained frozen in his chest, his expression just as cold and lifeless. The previous night replayed through his mind like an annoying broken record. 

**They had been walking home from the movies. Heero couldn't even remember what it was about, but he didn't really care. He wasn't supposed to be at the movies in the first place. A soldiers place was on the battlefield and not baby-sitting some peace delegate, but strangely enough that is what he had been stuck doing. It was fairly chilly, so they were walking closely together in order to preserve heat. The moon shone pale in the evening sky, and the streetlights cast shadows along their faces. As they rounded the corner on the last block back to Relena's apartment, she slowed her pace, then stopped. Heero looked back at her, his eyes hard. She looked down at the sidewalk as she shuffled her feet anxiously. 

"Heero do you love me?" She finally blurted out after a few moments of slight hesitation. She continued to stare at the sidewalk, not wanting to look into his eyes, afraid of what she might see. He said nothing, staring at her for a period that seemed to stretch on throughout an eternity. He grunted in the back of his throat. Relena slowly brought her eyes up and set them upon him. 

"I need to know, now." She demanded. "I can't spend the rest of my life wasting my love on someone who will never give me anything in return." Her eyes shone, so innocent and full of hope. "Tell me Heero, have my attempts all been in vain?" He stared back at her, refusing to say anything. "Do you love me Heero?"

He stared back at her, trying to find the easiest way to tell her. A whirlwind of ideas flew through his head, but none of them seemed to fit. Finally, he looked back at her, back into those hopeful eyes and whispered softly "No."

He witnessed her body tense, her eyes harden, and her lips draw together in a straight line. Her eyes glistened with tears, but she held each one of them back, refusing to let any of them roll down her pink cheeks. "Fine." she replied, her voice slightly shaking, almost as if she were angry. "At least I now know the truth. She took a step forward, but that was all she took. There was a loud BANG and Relena fell into a crumpled heap on the floor, surrounded in a pool of her own blood. Heero spotted a murky figure limp down the alleyway. Quickly he pulled his gun out of his back pocket and fired. The figure twitched, the collapsed to the ground, hopefully dead.

Heero rushed over to Relena. She was panting, trying desperately to breathe. "Relena . . ." Some how, Heero always felt some comfort in just saying her name. Her frail body trembled as he gently knelt beside her and lifted her from the sidewalk. "It's going to be alright Relena." Painfully, she looked up into his cobalt blue eyes, and the tears, which she had fought, to restrain so valiantly earlier came flooding down her cheeks. "It's going to be alright Relena." He repeated with minor urgency in his voice. She frowned, fingering at the bullet hole in her chest. 

"Don't be so naive." She gasped. Heero pulled her closely beside him, placing her head in the crevice of his neck. Her body began to shake violently, but he held her firm. "It's so cold . . ." She whispered, almost inaudible. "So very, very cold." Her eyes closed and panic spread through Heero's body. 

No, he told himself. You are not going to die like this. He picked her up lightly, holding her close to him, not worrying about the blood spoiling his clothes. Hastily, he rushed down the street to the nearest hospital. **

The nurse at the front desk, smiled politely and asked; "Your name please?"

"Heero Yuy, here to see Miss Relena Peacecraft." He answered in a monotone voice. He did not want to be bothered with annoying questions at the moment. The nurse seemed slightly hurt, but only for a moment. She handed him a temporary nametag. 

"Down that hall, second door on the right." Heero grunted, as he paced down the hallway, throwing his nametag in the trash on the way. 

Quatre, sat outside of her room, his eyes closed, head resting gently on the wall, listening attentively. When he heard Heero's footsteps, he opened one of his eyes, and looked at him. 

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go home and get some sleep? I told you that I would stand guard."

"I couldn't sleep." He confessed. Quatre's expression softened. 

"She's inside, sleeping last time I checked." He said, motioning toward the door. Heero nodded in thanks. Slowly he opened the door, and stepped inside. 

There was a soft BEEP BEEP of monitors, and in the corner lay Relena's still body. Grabbing a chair, Heero sat down next to her, the moonlight etching eerie shadows on to her youthful face. He didn't know where to even begin. He took a deep breath through his nose, like he always did when he was unsure.

Relena . . ." He whispered. Her name hung in the air, dead and lifeless. He laid his hand next to hers on the bed, hanging his head in defeat. Suddenly, he felt something smooth lie on top of his, and he looked up to see Relena's pale hand, her slender fingers intertwining with his. Heero tried desperately not to choke on his tears. Recollecting himself he asked; "How are you Relena?" He tried to steady his voice and to show no emotion. Anyone who had not known him would have thought him cold, but Relena had known Heero long enough to notice any hints of emotion. He heard her take a slow, rickety breath. 

"The absence of your love has cast me off to a dark abyss Heero, where not even murderous shadows dare lurk . . ." Heero's heart split. He had never heard Relena speak so discouragingly before. Usually her voice was filled with promise and faith. Now, it seemed hollow and empty, like his heart during the war. 

"Relena . . ." He began, but she cut him off before he could finish. 

"You say you do not love me Heero. You think me an annoyance to you life. That I need a babysitter, for I am incapable of surviving on my own." Her hand tightened around his. "You suffocate me, strangle me, until I cannot breathe. You protect me from everything as if I were a mere child, with no knowledge of the world what so ever. But let me tell you something, Heero Yuy, I am nearly 18, and I can take care of myself." Her voice began to shiver. 

"Relena . . ." He began again. 

"I'm not done!" she shouted. "I hate you Heero! You toy with my heart. You make me love you; you capture my heart and hold it ransom. You play with its pieces, breaking it, but never putting it back together again. You make me love you, to cherish you, to worship you, but you never, not once gave anything back to me. I hate you Heero Yuy! I once thought that I loved you, but now I understand that it was merely a wolf in sheep's clothing. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Tears cascaded down her cheeks. She tired desperately to pull her hand away from his, but he held it firm within his own. "Let go!" She demanded, sitting up. She groaned with pain, holding her chest with her free hand. 

"Relena I'm sorry . . ." Heero said, restraining his tears. "I'm so, so sorry! I never meant to hurt you. I thought that if maybe, maybe if I kept you at a distance you wouldn't get hurt, that nothing bad would happen to you. But I was wrong!" He slammed his fist into the bed sheets in frustration. "I . . . I never meant to push you so far away. I never meant for it to go this far, to the point where you would hate me." He looked up into her eyes, and was surprised at how comforting and soft they were. "I need you Relena, I need you. I'm weak on my own. I don't know how to behave outside of battle. I don't know how to act human. I don't . . . I don't know what to do!" He couldn't hold them back any longer, as the tears began to pour down his face. "When I saw you dying on the sidewalk I realized something. It was really you who was protecting me. Protecting me from myself. There were so many times Relena, so many times when I wanted to kill myself. But then I remembered you . . . And then I had a reason to live for Relena. You have saved me so many times! Ever since on Libra, when you tired stop me from going into battle, ever since then I should have known, but I mistook your emotions and pushed you away. I'm so sorry!" He squeezed his eyes closed, not wanting to look into her sympathetic eyes. 

He felt a gentle hand caress his face, and Relena slide into his lap. He felt her lean in close to him, their fingers still entwined, and lay her head in the crook of his neck. He could feel her tender heart beat against his, as they pulsated in unison. She moved close to his ear and whispered, I will ask you again, Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, do you love me?" He opened his eyes, took her chin in his hand and answered;

"Yes", then brought her in for their first kiss. Relief spread throughout Heero's body as he was washed away by its sweetness. His lips tingled as she pressed back against him. He released his fingers from hers and ran them through her burnt golden hair. Relena's fingers did the same, playing through his moose brown curls, then around his neck and down his back. Heero pulled her tightly to him; not wanting to ever let her go again. 

Never again, he promised himself. Never again will I let her go. Heero silently slipped his tongue into her mouth, and felt her giggle slightly with pleasure. Quatre silently peered through the doorway and saw them together in the chair, too wrapped up with each other to notice him. He shook his head, a grin plastered on his face. 

"It's about time . . ." he muttered as he silently shut the door, giving them a little more privacy. 


End file.
